The flag waves in the breeze
It brings me to my knees
To see our flag wave in spite
Of all the wrong that should be right
Oh, Father, hear our knees hit the floor
Bring revival to our nation once more
Hear our prayer and our cry
That unborn children no more may die.
That men no more seek in vain
Or teens end their lives to escape their pain
That the world would see there is more to life
More than sickness, drugs, and strife
People drink to dull their pain
Find lovers to give love they could not gain
We seek divorce, and to our hurt we add
The newest clothes, the latest fad.
Who will help them? Who will see?
Here I am Lord...please use me" -Amen
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
It has been far too long since I've posted last. I'm afraid I have no good excuse...
I am now 21! What an odd thing it is to grow older. I still feel like I'm in high school...but I'm not. I'm going to be a senior in college! A SENIOR in COLLEGE! How weird is that? To think that by this time next year I will be graduated. I feel like all I talk about on this blog is school...how annoying that must be to read about. But, it's such a big part of my life right now it's hard not to talk about it.
Believe it or not, I can't think of anything amazing to say. Usually, when I blog, something comes to mind. A theme, a poem, or an all important thought. Oh, here's one!
If you are lonely and want more friends, don't look to the popular, famed, or "cool". Look to the edges of the crowd, the ones sitting alone, go to them and befriend them. You will never be alone. Who knows, you might even find your best friend.
There, I've done it...I've written a short post with a thought. :D
I am now 21! What an odd thing it is to grow older. I still feel like I'm in high school...but I'm not. I'm going to be a senior in college! A SENIOR in COLLEGE! How weird is that? To think that by this time next year I will be graduated. I feel like all I talk about on this blog is school...how annoying that must be to read about. But, it's such a big part of my life right now it's hard not to talk about it.
Believe it or not, I can't think of anything amazing to say. Usually, when I blog, something comes to mind. A theme, a poem, or an all important thought. Oh, here's one!
If you are lonely and want more friends, don't look to the popular, famed, or "cool". Look to the edges of the crowd, the ones sitting alone, go to them and befriend them. You will never be alone. Who knows, you might even find your best friend.
There, I've done it...I've written a short post with a thought. :D
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
So Long Insecurities!
Readers, I am declaring independence!
For too many years I have lived under this idea that, "I'm not enough", "I'm not good enough". I don't know what exactly the "enough" is supposed to be for. All I know is that at EVERY failure I have heard these words shouted in my head. Throughout my life, and earnestly in the past few years, God has worked amazingly in my life and has removed many of the lies I had believed about myself. I can look in the mirror and see beauty! Beauty that I never believed I would see. But, enough of that, on to my independence. For too long I have lived under this tyranny, and have taken every little comment to heart. For instance, two weeks ago in my culinary class a teacher told me that my uniform was sloppy. I, took that remark, and ran with it. The whole rest of the class I just wanted to throw my uniform away, because I was now aware of it and couldn't change it. I read too much into the comment, and got mad. All because, I am too self conscious. Well, guess what! NO MORE!
I AM A Nerd for Christ!!! I LOVE talking about Him, and He has just recently revived that love. I am going to stop caring that I sound like a lunatic to the world, and I'm going to talk about Him! Instances of the spirit, miracles, and Bible verses included. :)
I can't listen to music without dancing to it! It is a proven fact, commented on by several of my friends. I again, at the time, tried to stop myself from then on when I would start to sway to the music. Thinking, that maybe dancing EVERY time I heard a song was wrong. But you know what?! That's how God created me! He created me to love music, and has given me a passion for dance. I love to dance almost more than I love to cook, and sometimes wonder if I missed my calling. So, the next time you hang out with me, bring your dancing shoes and we'll sway to the music together.
I am a Doctor Who fanatic (or Whovian, as we are formally called), it is my one nerdy addiction. I love the TARDIS and wish I had one to travel through time on. I love David Tennant as the Doctor, and don't know if I will ever like Matt Smith...but I am trying!
I have NO idea what I want to do with my degree...NONE. Honestly, there is not one clue. I want to find MY dream, MY own calling. I want to make a difference for Christ, and serve His children. I also want to go to the French Culinary Institute to study Chocolate, and cakes.
I am a neat freak in the kitchen. When I cook, I wash my hands every five minutes. Seriously... I love working with my hands, I just hate it when they're messy for long periods of time.
I LOVE playing the piano, even if I am no good at it. I've been told by piano playing friends that I've played certain notes the wrong way, and you know what? It's fine! I can learn to play them correctly, with some tutelage. And, I can continue to learn from their example, and play for my Audience of One.
I am not detail oriented. I am a big picture person! I like going from point A to Point B, I just don't know how to get there. I know what Point B is going to look like...just not how to make it like that. Does that make any sense?
I am not a girly girl. I adore dresses, and dressing up. But, I will never get up an hour early just to do my hair. I don't care for makeup, and honestly I'm too tall for heels. I love my jeans, but love my comfy workout pants better. I am a T-shirt and jeans kinda girl, and I'm going to stop pretending/striving to be otherwise.
I am horrible at defending others and myself when confronted. I live "today in yesterday" as John Keats once said. After the fact, I can think of a thousand things that I wish I had said, or did. But, when I am in the moment...nothing! I am too upset, and trying to process what is going on to retort. I absolutely hate this about myself. It turns me into a doormat, and I can't even defend my LORD when someone is bashing him. I didn't defend my teacher today in math when he was being bashed (behind his back) by my classmates. I thought afterwards, it doesn't matter that I didn't say anything...my silence was just as bad. I have often wondered, "Where were the people that loved Jesus on His crucifixion day? Why were they silent? When the mob was shouting 'crucify', why were they not shouting 'No'". I get it now...Taking a stand is never easy, especially in an angry crowd. But still...
The same goes for when I have confronted someone, or criticized them. I wonder if I was too harsh, and I rethink what I said over and over and over again until I wish I had just held my tongue. I will probably be rethinking this post as I lay in bed tonight before I go to sleep, thinking about things I should have added, or not have added. I just over think things too much...*sigh*.
I am terrified of water slides, roller coasters, and heights. I have no idea where this comes from, but, while some people think of theme parks as fun...I think of them as death sentences...true story. I have tried to face my fears...but it's still a work in progress.
I will love fairy tales, and tea parties til the day I die. End of story.
I wish I was British...really bad...they live in the most beautiful country, and have the best accents. Plus, Europe's so small they can go to France for the day if they want....FRANCE! Where do we go? Wilmington...or the mountains...*shakes head*.
Those are just a few facts about me, and I for one am going to go into my Plated Desserts class tomorrow, and wow them with my spotless uniform. And, my chai tea affagato, that I am preparing. Pictures later. Goodnight to you all, and good day!
For too many years I have lived under this idea that, "I'm not enough", "I'm not good enough". I don't know what exactly the "enough" is supposed to be for. All I know is that at EVERY failure I have heard these words shouted in my head. Throughout my life, and earnestly in the past few years, God has worked amazingly in my life and has removed many of the lies I had believed about myself. I can look in the mirror and see beauty! Beauty that I never believed I would see. But, enough of that, on to my independence. For too long I have lived under this tyranny, and have taken every little comment to heart. For instance, two weeks ago in my culinary class a teacher told me that my uniform was sloppy. I, took that remark, and ran with it. The whole rest of the class I just wanted to throw my uniform away, because I was now aware of it and couldn't change it. I read too much into the comment, and got mad. All because, I am too self conscious. Well, guess what! NO MORE!
I AM A Nerd for Christ!!! I LOVE talking about Him, and He has just recently revived that love. I am going to stop caring that I sound like a lunatic to the world, and I'm going to talk about Him! Instances of the spirit, miracles, and Bible verses included. :)
I can't listen to music without dancing to it! It is a proven fact, commented on by several of my friends. I again, at the time, tried to stop myself from then on when I would start to sway to the music. Thinking, that maybe dancing EVERY time I heard a song was wrong. But you know what?! That's how God created me! He created me to love music, and has given me a passion for dance. I love to dance almost more than I love to cook, and sometimes wonder if I missed my calling. So, the next time you hang out with me, bring your dancing shoes and we'll sway to the music together.
I am a Doctor Who fanatic (or Whovian, as we are formally called), it is my one nerdy addiction. I love the TARDIS and wish I had one to travel through time on. I love David Tennant as the Doctor, and don't know if I will ever like Matt Smith...but I am trying!
I have NO idea what I want to do with my degree...NONE. Honestly, there is not one clue. I want to find MY dream, MY own calling. I want to make a difference for Christ, and serve His children. I also want to go to the French Culinary Institute to study Chocolate, and cakes.
I am a neat freak in the kitchen. When I cook, I wash my hands every five minutes. Seriously... I love working with my hands, I just hate it when they're messy for long periods of time.
I LOVE playing the piano, even if I am no good at it. I've been told by piano playing friends that I've played certain notes the wrong way, and you know what? It's fine! I can learn to play them correctly, with some tutelage. And, I can continue to learn from their example, and play for my Audience of One.
I am not detail oriented. I am a big picture person! I like going from point A to Point B, I just don't know how to get there. I know what Point B is going to look like...just not how to make it like that. Does that make any sense?
I am not a girly girl. I adore dresses, and dressing up. But, I will never get up an hour early just to do my hair. I don't care for makeup, and honestly I'm too tall for heels. I love my jeans, but love my comfy workout pants better. I am a T-shirt and jeans kinda girl, and I'm going to stop pretending/striving to be otherwise.
I am horrible at defending others and myself when confronted. I live "today in yesterday" as John Keats once said. After the fact, I can think of a thousand things that I wish I had said, or did. But, when I am in the moment...nothing! I am too upset, and trying to process what is going on to retort. I absolutely hate this about myself. It turns me into a doormat, and I can't even defend my LORD when someone is bashing him. I didn't defend my teacher today in math when he was being bashed (behind his back) by my classmates. I thought afterwards, it doesn't matter that I didn't say anything...my silence was just as bad. I have often wondered, "Where were the people that loved Jesus on His crucifixion day? Why were they silent? When the mob was shouting 'crucify', why were they not shouting 'No'". I get it now...Taking a stand is never easy, especially in an angry crowd. But still...
The same goes for when I have confronted someone, or criticized them. I wonder if I was too harsh, and I rethink what I said over and over and over again until I wish I had just held my tongue. I will probably be rethinking this post as I lay in bed tonight before I go to sleep, thinking about things I should have added, or not have added. I just over think things too much...*sigh*.
I am terrified of water slides, roller coasters, and heights. I have no idea where this comes from, but, while some people think of theme parks as fun...I think of them as death sentences...true story. I have tried to face my fears...but it's still a work in progress.
I will love fairy tales, and tea parties til the day I die. End of story.
I wish I was British...really bad...they live in the most beautiful country, and have the best accents. Plus, Europe's so small they can go to France for the day if they want....FRANCE! Where do we go? Wilmington...or the mountains...*shakes head*.
Those are just a few facts about me, and I for one am going to go into my Plated Desserts class tomorrow, and wow them with my spotless uniform. And, my chai tea affagato, that I am preparing. Pictures later. Goodnight to you all, and good day!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Syllabub
Bloggers! I have been inspired, and delighted to find a new dessert that I had never heard of. It is called Syllabub. I love the name. What is a syllabub? Let me tell you!
It is a lemon cream whipped into submission, laced with lemon zest, and flavored with a flamed sherry wine (flaming means you pour a little of the alcohol into a gas flame and then set it aside til the flame goes out...it's really fun I assure you). I tasted this dessert at the Kings Arms Tavern in Williamsburg Virginia. A delightful, albeit pricey establishment where we were entertained with violin music while we dined. My Mother delighted me today when she found the recipe in a colonial cook book that I didn't know we had. The dessert in the picture is a syllabub.
School starts again today, and I'm hoping and praying that the rest of the semester goes smoothly.
Many of you have asked about my job, and so I might as well tell you that I am no longer working at Upper Crust. They did not have the time or inclination to train me, and so we parted ways. I was devastated at first, but it has turned out for the best. I'm much happier now, and can no longer stay up past midnight (which is a good thing), and I have been able to spend time with friends and go to church. So, what man intended for harm, God turned into good.
I have also joined a Bible study. It is a wonderful group of ladies, and I have so enjoyed being there. We share a meal, then discuss the book we're reading, "Is God Really In Control?" By Jerry Bridges, and then we spend time in prayer. I do admit that I was hesitant to join at first, because, I wasn't really close to any of the people going, but it has turned into the highlight of my week. I am enjoying the fellowship, and getting closer to God is always a rewarding experience.
Oh, I have also started jogging/running. While in Williamsburg I went to the spa adjacent to our hotel. There was a pool, work out room, and spa area. I weighed myself on one of the scales, and was definitely found wanting! I found that I weigh more than I thought I did and as such, have started exercising more. I'm still perfectly happy with how I look, I just want to get back to a healthy weight. I even made steamed salmon with a lemon vinaigrette last night for dinner. It was delicious and healthy. I have decided that I love running! And walking. It gives you a thrill, though I don't suppose I'm much good at it yet.
I always intend to write short posts on here, and it never seems to work. Oh well, I suppose that's it for now.
Blessings!
Kara
It is a lemon cream whipped into submission, laced with lemon zest, and flavored with a flamed sherry wine (flaming means you pour a little of the alcohol into a gas flame and then set it aside til the flame goes out...it's really fun I assure you). I tasted this dessert at the Kings Arms Tavern in Williamsburg Virginia. A delightful, albeit pricey establishment where we were entertained with violin music while we dined. My Mother delighted me today when she found the recipe in a colonial cook book that I didn't know we had. The dessert in the picture is a syllabub.
School starts again today, and I'm hoping and praying that the rest of the semester goes smoothly.
Many of you have asked about my job, and so I might as well tell you that I am no longer working at Upper Crust. They did not have the time or inclination to train me, and so we parted ways. I was devastated at first, but it has turned out for the best. I'm much happier now, and can no longer stay up past midnight (which is a good thing), and I have been able to spend time with friends and go to church. So, what man intended for harm, God turned into good.
I have also joined a Bible study. It is a wonderful group of ladies, and I have so enjoyed being there. We share a meal, then discuss the book we're reading, "Is God Really In Control?" By Jerry Bridges, and then we spend time in prayer. I do admit that I was hesitant to join at first, because, I wasn't really close to any of the people going, but it has turned into the highlight of my week. I am enjoying the fellowship, and getting closer to God is always a rewarding experience.
Oh, I have also started jogging/running. While in Williamsburg I went to the spa adjacent to our hotel. There was a pool, work out room, and spa area. I weighed myself on one of the scales, and was definitely found wanting! I found that I weigh more than I thought I did and as such, have started exercising more. I'm still perfectly happy with how I look, I just want to get back to a healthy weight. I even made steamed salmon with a lemon vinaigrette last night for dinner. It was delicious and healthy. I have decided that I love running! And walking. It gives you a thrill, though I don't suppose I'm much good at it yet.
I always intend to write short posts on here, and it never seems to work. Oh well, I suppose that's it for now.
Blessings!
Kara
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Busy! Busy! Busy!
Oh my! What a crazy first two weeks of the new semester this has been. Only God knows if I will survive this semester or not with all the added responsibilities that I have taken on.
Difficult things:
1) Waking up early...I am taking a 7am class that meets everyday, and it has been so difficult to wake up for it. I am NOT a morning person and I firmly believe that there should be a law against waking up before 10am. haha.
2). Balancing school work, friends, rest, God, and family. Not to mention, God gave me a JOB!!! But, more on that later.
3). Taking time to have my quiet time/ memorize the book of Phillipians each day. This really is a struggle for me. Because, sitting down and reading feels more like pleasure, than something I should make a priority for. However, I'm beginning to see how much I desperately to spend time with God in the morning. He loves me and wants to spend time with me. And my day always feels more balanced when I've had my quiet time.
4). Trying to find the balance between relaxation and working. Both are important...and good! But, they have to be properly balanced, and this is something I need to work on.
5). Not being able to go to Cross Wave very often...
6). I have to go do homework.
Great Things!
1). As I mentioned before God has placed me in a job! He quite literally put this in my lap. I now work at Upper Crust Pie and Bakery in Raleigh. It is a wonderful place, and SO much fun to work at. I love coming home feeling accomplished, and excited about what I made. I'm still a bit nervous, and am learning my way around the kitchen and how things need to be done, but it's such a pleasure.
2). One of the classes that I was dreading more than anything is actually of fun! All of my cakes in the class came out perfectly, and my timing was fast. Which is great! Being adequately prepared helped so much! And the teacher wasn't half as bad as I thought they would be.
3). I am pleasantly surprised that I both understand and enjoy my Math 115 class.
4). I have started watching Dr. Who and am quite addicted at the moment. haha.
5). God is up to something, and I don't know what it is but I look forward to see what He is going to do in and through me. He has me where I am and in the classes I'm in for a reason...I can't wait to see what it is.
6). I am so immeasurably blessed! My friends and family are such a blessing to me, and I am thankfully for each and everyone of you.
Tonight I went to Katie's house and we watched Letters to Juliet. It's wonderful to watch a romantic comedy with a good friend. Sometimes a girl just needs to spend time doing nothing with a dear friend. Just talking about movies, and the uncomplicated things of life. It was wonderful, and I was sad to leave. Saturday I work again and then meet an old classmate of mine to work on cakes.
I just wanted to update you on my goings on. I hope that you are all well, and are enjoying the new year.
Blessings,
Kara
Difficult things:
1) Waking up early...I am taking a 7am class that meets everyday, and it has been so difficult to wake up for it. I am NOT a morning person and I firmly believe that there should be a law against waking up before 10am. haha.
2). Balancing school work, friends, rest, God, and family. Not to mention, God gave me a JOB!!! But, more on that later.
3). Taking time to have my quiet time/ memorize the book of Phillipians each day. This really is a struggle for me. Because, sitting down and reading feels more like pleasure, than something I should make a priority for. However, I'm beginning to see how much I desperately to spend time with God in the morning. He loves me and wants to spend time with me. And my day always feels more balanced when I've had my quiet time.
4). Trying to find the balance between relaxation and working. Both are important...and good! But, they have to be properly balanced, and this is something I need to work on.
5). Not being able to go to Cross Wave very often...
6). I have to go do homework.
Great Things!
1). As I mentioned before God has placed me in a job! He quite literally put this in my lap. I now work at Upper Crust Pie and Bakery in Raleigh. It is a wonderful place, and SO much fun to work at. I love coming home feeling accomplished, and excited about what I made. I'm still a bit nervous, and am learning my way around the kitchen and how things need to be done, but it's such a pleasure.
2). One of the classes that I was dreading more than anything is actually of fun! All of my cakes in the class came out perfectly, and my timing was fast. Which is great! Being adequately prepared helped so much! And the teacher wasn't half as bad as I thought they would be.
3). I am pleasantly surprised that I both understand and enjoy my Math 115 class.
4). I have started watching Dr. Who and am quite addicted at the moment. haha.
5). God is up to something, and I don't know what it is but I look forward to see what He is going to do in and through me. He has me where I am and in the classes I'm in for a reason...I can't wait to see what it is.
6). I am so immeasurably blessed! My friends and family are such a blessing to me, and I am thankfully for each and everyone of you.
Tonight I went to Katie's house and we watched Letters to Juliet. It's wonderful to watch a romantic comedy with a good friend. Sometimes a girl just needs to spend time doing nothing with a dear friend. Just talking about movies, and the uncomplicated things of life. It was wonderful, and I was sad to leave. Saturday I work again and then meet an old classmate of mine to work on cakes.
I just wanted to update you on my goings on. I hope that you are all well, and are enjoying the new year.
Blessings,
Kara
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Hope in Grief. Beatiful Things From Dust.
I do wholeheartedly apologize for my long absence. School, as well as the passing of my grandmother have kept me quite busy. I had all of these thoughts of what I wanted to write about, but now, they have all left. They blew away to the world of forgotten words and sentences. I am in shock. I really shouldn't be, but I am. My grandmother passed away last Tuesday, and I have just today returned from staying in her house with my family. It was heartbreaking to stay in the house she used to occupy. However, I do not grieve for the Doris (my grandma) who was in assisted living with headaches and tumors. I grieve for the woman she was before the Alzheimer's. Memories flooded into my mind bringing with them a pain so acute, it felt like a knife of ice had been plunged in my heart. She used to greet us at the door when we would go to visit her. But, she was not there this time. I'm sorry for the melancholy and grief, but this is what I want to share.
The funeral was beautiful, as funerals go. The flowers were in her favorite shades of pink and purple. Jonathan and I got to sing...that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Jonathan started crying, which comforting, and singing with him actually gave me the strength to hold off crying until the end.
Dad and I had worked on putting music to her slide show, and it was great. Mom said that it was ironic how much my grandma would have enjoyed the funeral. All of her friends, and family were there. The food afterward was delicious, and the fellowship was fun. But, then we went back to my grandma's house, and I could just picture her sweeping the leaves off of her front porch, and waving at the neighbors as they go by. She loved to walk, and she walked every day of her life, until she couldn't anymore due to cancer in her pelvis.
I felt so secluded, which I shouldn't have. But, I felt the need to "escape" but there was no Internet, no TV, no phone. I only had my family, my journal, but most of all God to escape to.
I haven't really talked to God this past week. Not out of anger. I just couldn't find the strength to talk to Him after He walked my grandma home. Knowing that she was with Jesus, somehow made praying awkward where it wasn't before. But, as He has told me over and over again in His Word, "He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works" -Psalm 33: 15.
"You know my sitting down, and my rising up. You understand my thoughts from afar"-Psalm 139:2. God understands why I cannot seem to talk to Him yet, though I still enjoy spending time with Him. We sit together, and I read the book He wrote, as He teaches and changes.
I love this verse- "Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is".
We shall see Him as He is...I love that. Heaven sounds absolutely wonderful, you should read how it is described in Revelations!!! The chapter on heavenly worship makes my heart long for the day I can be there too. When I say that, I don't mean that I wish to die, or that I am planning on ending my life. What I mean, is that I have a longing for heaven. That I am not afraid to die, because, I know where I am going, and who I am going to. I can't wait to throw my arms around Jesus' neck, and walk with Him near the river of life. I can't wait to talk to John about what it was like to walk with Jesus on the earth. To ask Paul to give me a sermon, and tell me about the shipwrecks he was in, and what it was like to see Jesus for the first time. And then, I am going the kitchens in heaven where I know I will find my Aunt Doris, and we are going to bakesome oatmeal cookies that will make the angels sing. ha ha.
However, I am content to stay here for as long as God wills. There is much that I have to look forward to, and do. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But, if I live on in the flesh I know this will mean more fruit by my labor. Yet, what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard pressed between the two. Having a desire to depart, and be with Christ. Nevertheless, to remain is more needful for you." Philippians 1. I still have to graduate with my Pastry degree, stay single or get married as the LORD wills, and follow where He leads. I am so glad that, "We do not grieve like those who have no hope".
With Hope in Christ
Kara
The funeral was beautiful, as funerals go. The flowers were in her favorite shades of pink and purple. Jonathan and I got to sing...that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Jonathan started crying, which comforting, and singing with him actually gave me the strength to hold off crying until the end.
Dad and I had worked on putting music to her slide show, and it was great. Mom said that it was ironic how much my grandma would have enjoyed the funeral. All of her friends, and family were there. The food afterward was delicious, and the fellowship was fun. But, then we went back to my grandma's house, and I could just picture her sweeping the leaves off of her front porch, and waving at the neighbors as they go by. She loved to walk, and she walked every day of her life, until she couldn't anymore due to cancer in her pelvis.
I felt so secluded, which I shouldn't have. But, I felt the need to "escape" but there was no Internet, no TV, no phone. I only had my family, my journal, but most of all God to escape to.
I haven't really talked to God this past week. Not out of anger. I just couldn't find the strength to talk to Him after He walked my grandma home. Knowing that she was with Jesus, somehow made praying awkward where it wasn't before. But, as He has told me over and over again in His Word, "He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works" -Psalm 33: 15.
"You know my sitting down, and my rising up. You understand my thoughts from afar"-Psalm 139:2. God understands why I cannot seem to talk to Him yet, though I still enjoy spending time with Him. We sit together, and I read the book He wrote, as He teaches and changes.
I love this verse- "Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is".
We shall see Him as He is...I love that. Heaven sounds absolutely wonderful, you should read how it is described in Revelations!!! The chapter on heavenly worship makes my heart long for the day I can be there too. When I say that, I don't mean that I wish to die, or that I am planning on ending my life. What I mean, is that I have a longing for heaven. That I am not afraid to die, because, I know where I am going, and who I am going to. I can't wait to throw my arms around Jesus' neck, and walk with Him near the river of life. I can't wait to talk to John about what it was like to walk with Jesus on the earth. To ask Paul to give me a sermon, and tell me about the shipwrecks he was in, and what it was like to see Jesus for the first time. And then, I am going the kitchens in heaven where I know I will find my Aunt Doris, and we are going to bakesome oatmeal cookies that will make the angels sing. ha ha.
However, I am content to stay here for as long as God wills. There is much that I have to look forward to, and do. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But, if I live on in the flesh I know this will mean more fruit by my labor. Yet, what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard pressed between the two. Having a desire to depart, and be with Christ. Nevertheless, to remain is more needful for you." Philippians 1. I still have to graduate with my Pastry degree, stay single or get married as the LORD wills, and follow where He leads. I am so glad that, "We do not grieve like those who have no hope".
With Hope in Christ
Kara
Monday, September 13, 2010
Ponderings
I have gotten things accomplished today. I have worked on math homework, written a list of the recipes I need for this week, and yesterday I completed my painting resubmission of a hummingbird and a flower. I still have some math to complete, paintings to start, reading to do, and a Bible study to prepare...but, I have a desire to write. So, I am here.
You know, growing up God would occasionally ask me this very interesting question, "Would you die for me?"
To which I always replied, "No". I was too scared, and the many ways I have heard of martyrs dying didn't help matters. I have been walking with God now for 8 years. I have seen Him work miracles. He's changed me completely, and has brought me so far from where I was. Though insecurities still arise, and cause me to doubt myself and my worth, I don't feel completely worthless and ugly anymore. I KNOW that I have worth, that I am beautiful, and that God has lots of plans for me. God is Worthy! And so much sweeter, richer, and more fulfilling than anything in this world.
I think that is why I've always been afraid I wasn't doing God's will. I knew He had amazing plans and I wanted to live out all of them. But, God has taught me something about that, it is better to be focused on GOD, than just on His Will. Because, as you get to know Him, you will also know His will. Jesus tells us in John 14, that a servant doesn't know what His master wants...but I have called you friends that you may know what the Father wills (paraphrase).
We are His friends, and therefore can know what He wants. Because, He will tell us what we need to do, when we need to do it, and where we need to be.
The Hiding Place, is the story of Corrie Ten Boom. In it she tells the story of a train ride with her father when she was young. She had asked him a question, and he replied by asking her one back. He asked when he gave her her train ticket. She replied that it was right before they boarded the train. He explained that is what God does sometimes. He holds our "train ticket" until we are ready to have it.
"Some knowledge is too heavy ... you cannot bear it...your Father will carry it until you are able". -Corrie ten Boom.
I do not know what God has planned for my future, all I know is that He has my train ticket, and He will hand it to me when I need it. As He will do for you.
I also do not know if He will ever require me to give up my life on this earth for His sake. To quite literally die for Him, or if He just means it as total surrender. However, I do know that He calls all of us to give up our lives for Him. To die to ourselves daily, and to follow Him. Matthew 16:24-27 says this, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man with come with His angels in the glory of His Father and will judge all people according to their deeds ".
While I don't know what I would do in a martyr situation, I do know that I would rather give my life up on behalf of Christ than to live a thousand years for myself. I hope and pray that God blesses and challenges you today.
Amen.
You know, growing up God would occasionally ask me this very interesting question, "Would you die for me?"
To which I always replied, "No". I was too scared, and the many ways I have heard of martyrs dying didn't help matters. I have been walking with God now for 8 years. I have seen Him work miracles. He's changed me completely, and has brought me so far from where I was. Though insecurities still arise, and cause me to doubt myself and my worth, I don't feel completely worthless and ugly anymore. I KNOW that I have worth, that I am beautiful, and that God has lots of plans for me. God is Worthy! And so much sweeter, richer, and more fulfilling than anything in this world.
I think that is why I've always been afraid I wasn't doing God's will. I knew He had amazing plans and I wanted to live out all of them. But, God has taught me something about that, it is better to be focused on GOD, than just on His Will. Because, as you get to know Him, you will also know His will. Jesus tells us in John 14, that a servant doesn't know what His master wants...but I have called you friends that you may know what the Father wills (paraphrase).
We are His friends, and therefore can know what He wants. Because, He will tell us what we need to do, when we need to do it, and where we need to be.
The Hiding Place, is the story of Corrie Ten Boom. In it she tells the story of a train ride with her father when she was young. She had asked him a question, and he replied by asking her one back. He asked when he gave her her train ticket. She replied that it was right before they boarded the train. He explained that is what God does sometimes. He holds our "train ticket" until we are ready to have it.
"Some knowledge is too heavy ... you cannot bear it...your Father will carry it until you are able". -Corrie ten Boom.
I do not know what God has planned for my future, all I know is that He has my train ticket, and He will hand it to me when I need it. As He will do for you.
I also do not know if He will ever require me to give up my life on this earth for His sake. To quite literally die for Him, or if He just means it as total surrender. However, I do know that He calls all of us to give up our lives for Him. To die to ourselves daily, and to follow Him. Matthew 16:24-27 says this, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man with come with His angels in the glory of His Father and will judge all people according to their deeds ".
While I don't know what I would do in a martyr situation, I do know that I would rather give my life up on behalf of Christ than to live a thousand years for myself. I hope and pray that God blesses and challenges you today.
Amen.
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