My dear readers,
I do apologize for my extended absence. What started out as an easy semester has become a mountain of work that has me swamped. I have 10 assignments due next week, then finals, plus a Bible study to plan for, and meetings to arrange. Not to mention applying for financial aid for this summer so I don't get dropped. Ugh, I hate that you have to plan for the next semester while still trying to make it through the classes you are in! However, there is hope. A light at the end of the tunnel. For two more weeks I shall endure the frustrations of college classes, and then I gain my freedom (also known as the end of semester/summer break!!!). I don't care that I only get two weeks off. It will be worth it in the end to be able to graduate next FALL!!!! YAY! I shall have a degree yet! But enough about my college woes...
Do you know what breaks my heart?
God's name crossed off a list entitled "I value..."
People, who look so weary (physically, and worldly speaking), but blow off the very One who could take away their pain.
Wanting so much to love someone, and to see them come to Christ. You want to witness, but God says to pray.
I want so much to make close friends at school. To be apart of the closeness some of my classmates share in my culinary classes, but I can't because I don't believe what they believe (for the most part), or feel the need to do some of the things they do.
How do I live in the world and not become a part of it?
The way God views things, and the way the world views things are polar opposites. Now don't go rolling your eyes, it's just...I have heard that my whole life, but didn't grasp it until this week. I kept shrugging it off, saying "yeah, and your point is?" But they hate Him! The world truly hates Him! Or are apathetic, which is worse according to the Bible. What to me is life, breath, and passionate love, is painful or unappealing to them. And comprimising! It's so subtle. Little things, choices that you have to make (i.e. when asked Wednesday in one of my classes to add to the list on the board something I value I debated whether to put God or purity. I looked at the board and God was on there twice, so I chose the latter.) Was it wrong? I don't know. But, I keep wondering what would have happened if I had chosen to put God's name. I know I seem to be something out of nothing, but it was painful when at the end of writing the list we had to go back up to scratch off one value that did not speak to us. After scratching off "My relationship with God", the girl turned with a look of utter uncaring. I felt like someone had poured ice water over my head, and punched me in the gut. I suppose that is a good sign.
I don't know what reply I want, I just needed to vent. How do I reach them? How would Jesus reach them? How DOES Jesus reach them? Ever wish you could be Paul from the Bible? I bet you if he stepped on my campus he would know how to reach them. Jesus definitely would, and does. For now, I shall pray. I will pray that God will hit my campus with a tsunami of His presence. The darkness shall lose it's hold on my campus, I'm believing God for it!
Prayer...that is what I can do. I can pray for my classmates and teachers. I can encourage my fellow believers, and most of all, I can trust The Master, the One who spoke us into motion and loves us with an everlasting love. The One who sees us as beautiful, and sets us free from my sins. He, is trustworthy, and He promises, "Commit your way to the LORD, trust in Him and He will act" (psalms). David cries, "Remember the Lord, and forget not His benefits..." He says in John 10:10, that "The theif comes to steal, kill, and destroy. But I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full". Thanks for taking the time to read.
In His service
Lady in Waiting.
